For example, it recently occurred to me that I am going to have to embrace the fact that I am an introvert. I used to think that being an introvert means that you are shy. I am not a shy person, quiet, yes. But not shy! (Although, if I were, that would be OK. )
I get energized by being at home. I am totally drained when I am with lots of people. Take last weekend for example. I love my husband's family. However, the whole weekend left me so drained that I nearly had a break down on Monday with all the work to be down on top of normal life. I was denying who I am.
Number one, I should have declared the day a day off from lessons, so that I could focus on the mountain of laundry. Number two, I should have not placed such pressure on myself to get it caught up in "x" number of days. Who cared if the extra blankets were washed, dried, and back in their proper place by Wednesday? I also might have even called off going to gym class so that my kids could have slept in a bit. Grace was developing a cold. I made her go anyway. (Boo.)
The truth is that I find myself feeling guilty for needing lots of down-time. I know that is just how I am wired. I guess I think deep down that being an extrovert is a better, more productive way to be. I think it means I am lazy or not serving the body of Christ well. That's just wrong.
I need to carve out time in my day for my downtime. I need to know it is OK to do this. I need to say "no" to others if it is going to interfere with this time. I cannot do all that I am asked. Who can?
I am trying to move a mountain at the moment. This weight is a mountain on my shoulders. It takes an enormous amount of time and effort to change the way I eat and think about exercise. I am spending a lot of time reading, thinking, planning, and just plain living. I am setting up boundaries. I am being stretched! It's hard. It's frustrating. It's humiliating at times. I really need to take some time to sort through all of this.
So, there you have it. It all boils down to learning to be myself and being OK with how God made me. :-)
Hi, thank you for this honest blog. I recognize myself in it. Even I struggle with things. With my weight, my character and mood (I'm grumpy if there are too many things planned). Indeed, It all boils down to learning to be ourself and being OK with how God made us.
ReplyDeleteI like your picture.
Amen!
ReplyDeleteI need down time as well. Sometimes I forget that.
Those safeguards to be able to have a life that is livable are important.
I too am guilty of placing all these expectations on myself and then I am the only one upset when things do not go as I planned, but the wake effects my family, not good. Thanks for reminding me of these things, maybe that is why we have denied our bodies the exercise they need to be healthy?
Another example of how we are so much alike, even when we don't know it. Last week, it was back to work, with tough deadlines, so down time was hard to get. Maybe finally an easier week this week. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI think we all deal with those same feelings, at least I know I do. I need to watch myself because I can easily get caught up with doing things because think I should, or because it's what I'm 'suppose' to do (meaning someone made me feel like I should). I think it's great you are embracing who you really are, and I'm thankful that you shared it with us. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I, too, feel as though I'm not doing what I should, but if I try to do it all, I can't do what God has called me to do: be a good wife and mother. And, yes, it takes work and effort to think through all this.
ReplyDeleteI try to set myself a baseline of what I need to do, and some loose ideas of when I should do it.
On the other hand, my husband tells me just to do what makes me happy. I suppose that's good advice to driven people like you and I seem to be.LOL
Thanks so much for your support!
Annie Kate