Exercising is a Gift

For the last few weeks, I've been struggling with and loosing the battle in my mind regarding exercise.  I finally got over my 3 weeks of  sickness, but with it went the desire to move.  I can't allow this to continue.  The ability to move is a gift!  (I look around me and see others who would love to be able to move and feel ashamed of my attitude.) 

A couple of weeks ago,I tried to walk every day after lunch in order to get myself back into the habit, but then I noticed I was starving all day long, because I was also working on eating a lot less.  (I think that was the week I stopped eating snacks in between meals.) At the time,  I told myself  it was too hard to work on both habits.  Well, now the snacking is under control, so it's time to get back into the moving habit.   

Of course, I can verbalize all the wonderful benefits to working out.  No one needs to remind me of those.  I can even report that I had more energy then, and less aches and pains.  And my self respect was higher.  So where is the disconnect? 

The disconnect for me is that I just don't want to have to do it.  It's hard.  I feel like it's too much for me.  I whine and complain to myself that it's not fair.  ""I have to give up all my favorite foods and make myself exercise, too?"  Argh!!!  It's like having another spoiled child to deal with and she lives in my brain and wants to rule my life!!!

So how do I appeal to "her" that exercising is going to be a non-negotiable in my life?  Why do I still have to battle myself into action??  Why can't I just do it? 

My health coach says to make it a rule that I must exercise, just like I must brush my teeth.  I don't think it's that simple.  I am in rebellion.  Rules set me off!  (The only one who is getting hurt is myself, by the way.)   

I finally began to pray about this and came to the conclusion that it boils down to a pride issue and lack of character.  First, I don't like being told what to do, so I look for ways to get around the rules.  I confess this and want to do better. 

Second, if I want to have self respect, and I really do, I'm going to have to exercise, because, when I do not exercise and give into my rebellion, I feel discouraged and not very happy with myself.  When I do go off to walk or ride my bike, I feel better about myself, even if I am not doing very much.  Just walking around the block is better than sitting on the couch!  In the end, I can be proud of myself for trying to overcome this weakness of character.  (Therefore, I need to reward even the slightest effort to get moving!)

Here's my action plan: 

• I am going to make myself a little exercise chart today.  
• I'm going to hang it in the kitchen for all to see.  
• I am going to remind myself each and every day how being able to move is a gift, not something to squander.  
• I am going to check off the days that I put my shoes on and move for at least 20 minutes
• I'm going to reward myself with a trip to Starbucks for a unsweetened passion iced tea after I check off 6 boxes. (I know it's not good to reward with food, but for me, this is a motivating non calorie treat!) 
• I am going to also buy myself a new pair of summer weight pants because I promised myself that I would when I lost 30#!  (My old pants still fit, but are getting holes in them.) 
• I am going to repeat this process until it becomes a non-negotiable habit in my life 
• I am going to ask my husband to help me in this area.  He is much more disciplined than I am.  *sigh*