The weather has been interesting and certainly has made exercise a challenge. One day it is warm enough, but the wind will knock you down on a bike. The next day is too hot or wet. Spring!!
So, I have been trying to get on the bike trainer, ride outside, or do something with my kids for their PE class at least 30 minutes every weekday. I am always amazed at how different riding the trainer and riding outside are. Soon we will go on long bike rides as a family. Must get ready!
Health is still my main focus. I am slowing reading through Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch again. How I wish I could eat without guilt, feel good about my body, and free myself from the diet mentality forever!! It is a lonely path in a world full of people who obediently try to restrict, move like crazy (fit bit mania) and only feel good about themselves when they are losing weight.
This is my third read of Intuitive Eating. The first time that I read it, I was in a different part of my journey. I thought it was a good book and something to aspire to maybe after I lost a bunch of weight. Haha. Wishful thinking. I did lose 40 pounds that time. I regained it and lost 30 on my next attempt.
The authors confirm my opinion that diets don't work for the long haul. Restricting food only triggers our biological drive to eat, avoiding starvation, and your body thinks it is starving when you are on a diet. Only 5% of people who lose weight, keep it off forever. You can only keep it up so long and then the need to preserve your life will take over. It is a cycle that I have repeated over and over for years and years.
I went on my first diet before I was 13. What have I gained from 35 years of dieting, besides 100 pounds? Dieting leaves me sad, unhappy, discouraged, and feeling like a failure. A FAILURE. Society confirms that conclusion. People who are fat are failures, lazy, unhealthy, uneducated about how to eat and move, ugly. All they need to do is eat less and move more. Simple. If only it were that simple. Biology is hard to fight.
Eating intuitively is my priority. I must learn to stop emotional eating. Also, stopping when I am full is a big issue. I don't always feel fullness, so it is hard to respect my fullness when I feel it. I catch myself eating more of something I love because I fear that I will not be allowed to eat it again. Then I feel guilty for eating too much. I am working on this. Eating for health, moving in ways that one enjoys, trying to love the body that I have, those are my goals.
As to the eating too much of something because you are afraid you won't get to eat it again- I ate ice cream every day for two months and now I only want it rarely. It's totally out of my system. After I had my baby(I had to restrict my diet because of gestational diabetes) I wanted lots of "junk" foods but now I'm back to eating mostly whole foods. It's like you have to just give your mind free rein and then it will relax and believe you will be kind to your body and feed yourself well, treats and all, and then it doesn't need the treats much. It's such an up and down process. I don't know if I'll ever be ok about my body no matter how big or small it is but at least I can enjoy food again, mostly. I still over analyze carbs and worry if I eat more than I think I should but it gets easier and I am starting to trust myself more.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, best wishes on your journey to peace with yourself and food. :-)
Thank you for your kind reply, Briana! I think I know what you mean about eating so much of something that you finally don't want more!! I am getting that way with potatoes, which is amazing because I used to dream about them when I was low carb. Haha. You are so wise. Thank you for your encouragement. We can do this!!
DeleteJenn, I have been going through an ebook series about that exact thing, taken from that book. You can see it here, http://laurenfowler.co/ She works through great steps to help us view ourselves differently. It is a struggle for me too, but I try every day. And I'm so thankful that my husband continues to call and see me as beautiful, regardless of my weight. I am going to check the book out of the library to read that too, but the email this other ladies send is great. Sounds like you are doing great.
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